Conversations with S :
S:
- So what made you decide to see me again?
A:
-Rum and coke..
środa, 23 lipca 2014
strong will
S:
- So, you are going to...
Me :
- I'm gonna loose weight. I'm gonna exercise everyday. I'm gonna go on diet and stick to it....
Is that cake?
- So, you are going to...
Me :
- I'm gonna loose weight. I'm gonna exercise everyday. I'm gonna go on diet and stick to it....
Is that cake?
Just in case
Me:
-... But you had my number. Where is it?
Serge patiently:
- I deleted it.... With the rest of the numbers actually..
Me shocked :
- But why???
Serge :
- So I won't be tempted to send erotic messages to the other people when I'm drunk.
-... But you had my number. Where is it?
Serge patiently:
- I deleted it.... With the rest of the numbers actually..
Me shocked :
- But why???
Serge :
- So I won't be tempted to send erotic messages to the other people when I'm drunk.
Imagination
Stranger:
- Do You mind if i ask You a personal question?
A:
- Isn't that what You've been doing ?
S:
- Have You found Jesus?
A:
- Well ,I din't know he was missing...
( silence )
A:
- It was just a joke.
S. with serious look:
- Normally we don't joke about Jesus around here. But I can see how You'd think that was sort of funny. Imagine Jesus gone missing..... Imagine.
- Do You mind if i ask You a personal question?
A:
- Isn't that what You've been doing ?
S:
- Have You found Jesus?
A:
- Well ,I din't know he was missing...
( silence )
A:
- It was just a joke.
S. with serious look:
- Normally we don't joke about Jesus around here. But I can see how You'd think that was sort of funny. Imagine Jesus gone missing..... Imagine.
Cuddly cuddly
Conversations at work :
Mick:
-I think you are in love with me...
Me:
- The only circumstances when you might get that kind of feeling is when we have the end of the world and I'm scared and I need a cuddle...
Mick:
-I think you are in love with me...
Me:
- The only circumstances when you might get that kind of feeling is when we have the end of the world and I'm scared and I need a cuddle...
...
Conversations at work.
N. Showing a picture of his friend
-... And this is him.
Me :
- Where is he from?
-He's a bit Iranian.
J:
-Why do you have Iranian friend when you have never been in Iraq?
N:
-....
N. Showing a picture of his friend
-... And this is him.
Me :
- Where is he from?
-He's a bit Iranian.
J:
-Why do you have Iranian friend when you have never been in Iraq?
N:
-....
no difference at all
Conversations with S. :
Me:
- Not much difference at all, really, between lap dancing and my line of work. Same attention to make - up, same use and abuse of one's body, strutting one's stuff for money. Having often ghastly punters to deal with. Always being gawped at. I'm pretty much a painted lady, too - quite literally....
S. :
- well..
Me:
- The main difference between my work and lap dancing is the working hours. Because of course I tend to work days, not nights..
S:
- Surely the main difference is that you wear substantially more clothes when you perform..
Right.
Me:
- Not much difference at all, really, between lap dancing and my line of work. Same attention to make - up, same use and abuse of one's body, strutting one's stuff for money. Having often ghastly punters to deal with. Always being gawped at. I'm pretty much a painted lady, too - quite literally....
S. :
- well..
Me:
- The main difference between my work and lap dancing is the working hours. Because of course I tend to work days, not nights..
S:
- Surely the main difference is that you wear substantially more clothes when you perform..
Right.
restaurant adventures
Conversation at the restaurant :
Me:
- Can I have a steak?
Waitress :
- Of course!
Me :
- Well done.
Waitress
-Thank you.
Right...
Me:
- Can I have a steak?
Waitress :
- Of course!
Me :
- Well done.
Waitress
-Thank you.
Right...
i do speak english
Conversations with cab driver :
-Happy with the car?
Cab driver
-Yes very. Do you have a car?
-Yes. Old one.
Cab driver :
-Old is gold!
-At some point, yes.
-Oh, so you are having a points!?
-Happy with the car?
Cab driver
-Yes very. Do you have a car?
-Yes. Old one.
Cab driver :
-Old is gold!
-At some point, yes.
-Oh, so you are having a points!?
Next door
A: Colin's gone.
B: What?
A: He went next door.
B: Oh,A. I'm so sorry. How did it happen?
A: ... He walked.
B: Right, right, sorry. See, my mum used to use "going next door" as a euphemism for being dead.
C: Whoa, hold on, does that mean my rabbit's dead?
B: It's been eighteen years, C., where did you think he was?
C: Next door!
A,B: <facepalm>
B: What?
A: He went next door.
B: Oh,A. I'm so sorry. How did it happen?
A: ... He walked.
B: Right, right, sorry. See, my mum used to use "going next door" as a euphemism for being dead.
C: Whoa, hold on, does that mean my rabbit's dead?
B: It's been eighteen years, C., where did you think he was?
C: Next door!
A,B: <facepalm>
Disappointment
Conversation :
A:
-Believe me, not everything on the Internet is true..
S. devastated :
- So there is no beautiful singles in my area dying to meet me?!
A:
-...
Right.
A:
-Believe me, not everything on the Internet is true..
S. devastated :
- So there is no beautiful singles in my area dying to meet me?!
A:
-...
Right.
Idiots, idiots everywhere!
Conversations at the bar.
Guy :
-Hi!
Me:
-Hola!
G:
- If you talk to me I'll let your tongue sing!
Me (challenge accepted!) :
-Do you want to know where I hide the bodies?
G:
-Errrmmm... Bye?
M:
-Exactly!
Right.
Guy :
-Hi!
Me:
-Hola!
G:
- If you talk to me I'll let your tongue sing!
Me (challenge accepted!) :
-Do you want to know where I hide the bodies?
G:
-Errrmmm... Bye?
M:
-Exactly!
Right.
'let's make them confused '
Guy :
- Would you like to support the Red Cross organisations?
Me :
- Doing it already.
G:
- What about your boyfriend?
M:
- He's an atheist!...
Options :
Conversations with A:
Me :
- how will you spend your valentines day?
A:
-At work!
Me:
- I'm going to be naked. On the floor, with liquor bottle in my hand. Screaming Adele songs to my cat.
A:
- Photo opportunity!
Right.
Me :
- how will you spend your valentines day?
A:
-At work!
Me:
- I'm going to be naked. On the floor, with liquor bottle in my hand. Screaming Adele songs to my cat.
A:
- Photo opportunity!
Right.
Oh well...
Conversations wit S:
S:
- You look a little bit like my grandmother in that dress
Me:
-Oh, is your grandma super cool?
S:
- You look a little bit like my grandmother in that dress
Me:
-Oh, is your grandma super cool?
Girly
Conversations with Emma :
E:
- I'm reading lots of good books recently..
Me:
- Oh really? What kind of books?
E:
- Oh, you won't like it. They are very girly...
- Right...
Let me scratch my nuts!!
E:
- I'm reading lots of good books recently..
Me:
- Oh really? What kind of books?
E:
- Oh, you won't like it. They are very girly...
- Right...
Let me scratch my nuts!!
Touche!
Me to G. looking at his outsize belly :
- So G. as we speak, tell me about your ' pregnancy' experience.. I mean, you know, you can give me some clues , for example, what do you do to see your feet?
G:
- Bending over?
Me:
-Risky business, risky business..
G:
- That's how you got pregnant right? :D
Me:
- Exaclty!
- So G. as we speak, tell me about your ' pregnancy' experience.. I mean, you know, you can give me some clues , for example, what do you do to see your feet?
G:
- Bending over?
Me:
-Risky business, risky business..
G:
- That's how you got pregnant right? :D
Me:
- Exaclty!
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